Six Feet Under the Table

I feel like a new woman. For the past four nights in a row, I've gotten 7 to 8 uninterrupted hours of sleep—the first time since October. How did I get to be so lucky, you ask? Two reasons: sleep training and pump weaning. We went to the doctor last week and asked if it was normal for a 9 month old to wake up three times to eat. His response? Uh... no. So we were given strict instructions on when to feed him and how to let him cry it out. It took three nights filled with three-hour-long crying sessions. (Will, not me... thank you, NyQuil.) We were told it would take 10 - 14 days. It took four. Baby Boy is awesomely sleeping through the night... for 13 hours almost straight. And then takes three 1-2 hour naps during the day. Bliss, my friends. This is bliss. On the other side of things, I'm ending my relationship with my breast pump. I just can't do it any more. I pumped exclusively for two months. (One of my rockstar mommy friends went longer than two months. You know w...

I'm out of control, and it's embarrassing. My diet is perhaps the worst it's ever been. My daily sugar intake is beyond acceptable. And I know that I need to knock it off. But I don't want to enough, I guess. I see the number on the scale go down, and I think, "See? I can eat ice cream with magic shell every night. No problem!" But it's not just the ice cream with the magic shell. It's the coffee with creamer when I start the day. It's the fruit snacks and granola bars I eat with lunch. It's the coca cola... the liter bottle that I sip on for a couple days because it was cheaper than the 20 oz. It's the string cheese and nutella-slathered toast. The ranch dressing. The candy. The potato chips. The movie theater popcorn. The crappy restaurant food. (It's even the occasional apple/spinach baby rice puff—5 for baby, 1 for me... 5 for baby, 1 for me...) And it's EVERY day. I finally went grocery shopping and cooked my own dinner the...

Now that Baby Boy is sleeping through the night, I feel like my brain is a lot less static-y. I'm noticing so much more now. Like I'm really present, watching with eyes wide open. And it's amazing. My love is growing so much that I actually feel like I could explode. It's overwhelming. And it's awesome. So since I feel like the first 8 months have been riddled with frustrations and amIdoingsomethingwrongs, this THIS is what I've been waiting for. This moment when I am watching him learn, figure things out, sleep, eat, even poop… all these things we take for granted. All these things we forget have a learning curve. Here's what I now know (and love) about Baby Boy: 1. He needs to know how things work. He has a dog xylophone on wheels. He'll bang on the keys, and pound the bars with the bone-shaped mallet. But what he really likes to do is flip the whole thing over and examine the wheels. He still softly moves his fingers along everything he can. ...

This morning J and I talked about the nursing situation. We made a difficult-for-me-to-make decision to stop nursing. The reason is simple: Baby Boy doesn't nurse, get bored, and then bite. He immediately uses me as a chew toy, and he refuses to latch. But he takes a bottle so well. Very well. In fact, he now prefers it. But we aren't switching to formula. Instead, I am pumping all day every day to supply his needs. And since I do that twice a week at work, it really hasn't been a burden. I think I've got a good schedule down, so right now, this works. Baby Boy now sleeps until 4a! J feeds him his 4a bottle, I get up at 5 to pump, go back to bed for 15 minutes, then on the days I have to drive to work, I get up at 6 and get ready for the day. At first, more sleep meant I was more tired. But today, I feel completely rested. This weekend or next week, I will be posting a babysitting or nanny job on a caregiver website. I'm nervous and don't want to do it. But ...

Well, the race is done. How did I do? Pretty dang good, if I do say so myself. I met my goal of 32 minutes, and I ran the whole thing. Not too bad for being only 7 months post baby, for not running in well over a year, and for being up most of the night the night before because Baby Boy was having a rough night. Since Saturday, I feel like I've kinda let go. I haven't worked out. I've been eating whatever I want. And my determination to keep up my water intake has been abysmal. And today I'm feeling the effects. I'm tired and feeling dimply. But my dad's bday was yesterday, and it was very important to eat all the delicious food at his soiree... including the cake I made with the most amazing buttercream frosting EVER. Seriously, you guys. This is the first issue of Martha Stewart Living that I ever bought off the shelf. It's like gold. So many delicious cake/frosting recipes. I will never throw it away. And the cover? Don't even get me started. ...

Well, my race is 4 days away, and I haven't run in a week and a half. Life has just been B.U.S.Y. Between cars breaking down, test driving and purchasing a new car, soothing a sick/teething baby boy, making baby food, chasing a now very mobile baby boy, housework, work, and *cough* quilting, I just haven't made running a priority. Tomorrow, I hit the treadmill hoping I've still got 3 miles under my belt. Wish me luck.

One thing that surprised me more about motherhood than ANYTHING would be nursing. The whole topic, really. (Being so interested in another human's poop is a REALLY close second.) There are just some things about breastfeeding that I never really expected: 1. Some women can't. 2. For those that can't but really want to, the not being able to makes them feel like a failure. 3. IF your milk comes in, it doesn't actually come in until a few days after birth. 4. Some women don't want to. 5. Some women breastfeed until their kids are 5. 6. The more you do it, the more milk you have. (Supply and demand) 7. When you say, "My baby eats every 3 hours," the time starts at the BEGINNING of the feeding. So if your child nurses for 40 minutes, there are actually only 2 hours and 20 minutes before you're nursing again. This is why the newborn phase is so exhausting. They eat like every freaking hour. 8. Sometimes you will nurse your child for said 40 minut...