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One thing that surprised me more about motherhood than ANYTHING would be nursing. The whole topic, really. (Being so interested in another human's poop is a REALLY close second.)

There are just some things about breastfeeding that I never really expected:

1. Some women can't.
2. For those that can't but really want to, the not being able to makes them feel like a failure.
3. IF your milk comes in, it doesn't actually come in until a few days after birth.
4. Some women don't want to.
5. Some women breastfeed until their kids are 5.
6. The more you do it, the more milk you have. (Supply and demand)
7. When you say, "My baby eats every 3 hours," the time starts at the BEGINNING of the feeding. So if your child nurses for 40 minutes, there are actually only 2 hours and 20 minutes before you're nursing again. This is why the newborn phase is so exhausting. They eat like every freaking hour.
8. Sometimes you will nurse your child for said 40 minutes, and they will spit up every ounce of that liquid gold... and then be hungry again. It is very frustrating.
9. Some pumps make better paperweights than milk expressers and can actually diminish your supply.

Enter my problem.

Shortly after I returned to work, I also switched insurances. My new insurance covered a breastpump. So I ordered a second so I didn't have to lug mine to and from work. Two months later, I am getting about half a feeding's worth every three hours. This means that at this rate, I am going through my milk stash faster than I can build it. Is this a problem? I suppose no, not really. But see #2 above. And there are always other options. (See #1.) Formula these days is very close to breastmilk. But breastmilk is free.

I called my lactation consultant, and she put me on a plan to see if we can build my supply again BEFORE trying a hospital-grade pump. So I have to pump every single day at 5a, for 10 minutes after Baby Boy's first morning feeding on the days that I work from home, and at 10p. This means I'm trying to produce milk at midnight, 5a, 8a, 11a, 2p, 5p, 8p, and 10p. It's exhausting. But to me, it's totally worth it.

I don't knock anyone that chooses not to breastfeed or decides to switch to formula after a few months. Before I had Baby Boy, I had NO idea how much of my life would be consumed by nursing/pumping. Fun fact: Did you know that this breastfeeding is actually controversial? Like, people actually debate what's "best." I say, to each her own. And no matter what we choose, we all need support.

I feel so fortunate that my community hospital has a breastfeeding center. A place I can go (for free) to meet with lactation consultants that work with my pediatrician if necessary. They are the ones that discovered Baby Boy's tongue tie... and the ones that explained our options. They let me sit in their office for HOURS as Baby Boy and I learned together how to breastfeed... and feed out of a shot glass and a syringe on the days when all else failed. They are the ones that taught me how to use my pump. That sent me dietary information when my supply started going low. They let me cry and made me laugh. And they talk to me on the phone when my supply is really low again, getting worse, and I need advice fast. Without them, well, I would've given up a long time ago. And because of them, Baby Boy can do this:


In other news, I've lost a pound. And even better (maybe)? This girl has run three miles straight two days in a row. Two weeks until the 5k. I'm gonna own it.

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