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But one thing I know...

Now that Baby Boy is sleeping through the night, I feel like my brain is a lot less static-y. I'm noticing so much more now. Like I'm really present, watching with eyes wide open. And it's amazing. My love is growing so much that I actually feel like I could explode. It's overwhelming. And it's awesome.

So since I feel like the first 8 months have been riddled with frustrations and amIdoingsomethingwrongs, this THIS is what I've been waiting for. This moment when I am watching him learn, figure things out, sleep, eat, even poop… all these things we take for granted. All these things we forget have a learning curve.

Here's what I now know (and love) about Baby Boy:

1. He needs to know how things work. He has a dog xylophone on wheels. He'll bang on the keys, and pound the bars with the bone-shaped mallet. But what he really likes to do is flip the whole thing over and examine the wheels.

He still softly moves his fingers along everything he can. Feeling textures. Slamming his hands down on hard surfaces.

2. He likes to do things himself. In particular, he wants to hold his own bottle. Even if he doesn't know quite how to do it. He'll put one hand awkwardly on top, and the other on the side. He puts himself to sleep. No more need for rocking or singing. And there's hardly time for a prayer. Just give him his paci and his blankie, and he can take it from there.

3. He's always watching and imitating. Whether it be rolling his tongue or closing his clam-like clicker instrument. He'll watch and try. And if he's playing with an object that he just can't figure out, he'll throw it down. Not out of frustration, but because he needs to take a break from practicing before he can pick it back up and try again. And try again he will.

4. He sings. There's a sound he makes only when music is playing. They're long, drawn-out notes. And he has the most beautiful voice I've ever heard. Even if there aren't any words. And even if his songs don't make sense. One day, he's going to make beautiful music. Just like his daddy.

5. He's too smart for his own good. You can't distract him by hiding things he's not supposed to have. He'll find them. He'll climb over you if he has to.

6. Touch is not his love language. He doesn't need to be smothered, though I admit I can't stop kissing him. And occasionally, he'll kiss me back. Rather, though it's too soon to tell, I think his love language is quality time. He wants to be involved at all times. He doesn't want to miss anything.

7. He's learning to chew and is finally catching on to sucking from a sippy cup. He loves to play with his food, and he hasn't quite figured out how to pick up food and put it in his mouth. But he loves to touch food… and fling it into his hair, his high chair, the floor. And sometimes I let him experience it all and just go to town. That's what baths are for, right?

8. He's fun and happy and not too serious.

9. He sneezes every single time we step out into the sunlight… just like his daddy.

10. Given the choice, he'd much rather stand than sit.

11. He hates being restrained. We had to remove the belt from his high chair, and he would rather play with the exersaucer-thing standing up outside of it than sitting on the inside as it's intended to be used. And if he's going to be in his carseat, the car better be moving.

Today, he stood on my lap to sing our usual song with hand motions. And my first thought was, "when did he get so big?" And then I realized (again) how lucky I am to be his mom. To have the opportunity to witness this miracle. To be so exhausted at the end of the day from our adventures and from figuring out how to go through life together. To be responsible for another human being that is helpless without us. The fact that we are so blessed is not lost on me. Motherhood is a humbling experience. And I love it.

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